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Post by brendur on Nov 11, 2009 19:29:56 GMT -5
Woo! A great start! You sure you haven't written before? ;D Lord are we screwed.
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Post by Tallaith on Nov 11, 2009 19:45:51 GMT -5
OOOO SHIT! LOL! Wow! Nice job! Sneaky sneaky! You're a great writer, lady.
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Post by khrys on Nov 12, 2009 0:33:56 GMT -5
Yes yes yes! I came here to read good stories and this is one! I love that you made her petty yet powerful. Makes her damnably dangerous and I love that you can work strongly in present tense because it gives me a guide to avoid my habit of over-using past tense and gerunds.
Oh, and I pity LondT. Wouldn't want to be the only one home in the clubhouse when this villian decides to tear it down.
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Post by Deveon on Nov 13, 2009 14:19:50 GMT -5
Thank you all for your kind comments! I am glad you enjoyed the story, so therefore I suppose I should continue and not leave you all hanging ;D
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Post by Tallaith on Nov 15, 2009 18:25:46 GMT -5
EPIC! *Mr. Burns-style purr of "excelllllllent" complete with stroking of fingers* I'm loving this story and your writing. You've been holding out on me, lady! I can't wait for more from Kess and I'll check out the link asap.
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Post by amerlynn on Nov 17, 2009 20:05:04 GMT -5
This was a really entertaining story to go through so far. You're very good Deveon! I thought Maccalum was really cool in the second part.
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Post by Tallaith on Nov 23, 2009 20:16:19 GMT -5
Bwahahaha! Thanks for the warning, just in case! Very well done. I can't wait for the next installment!
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Post by khrys on Nov 23, 2009 21:14:52 GMT -5
Uh oh! Beware, Lond Treneri!
/popcorn
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Post by Deveon on Nov 23, 2009 22:05:39 GMT -5
Yeah that may have been a bit more than PG-13
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Post by amerlynn on Nov 23, 2009 23:05:08 GMT -5
Eck... I really do not like Clorista... I mean, I didn't before, her being the spiteful villain and all, but I really really don't like her! Ilydia seems pretty frightening too. How many loyal henchpeople are actually competant? I think it'll be interesting to find out more about her. Though at this point I can only speculate whether she's anything more than a handmaid. ...Like a ninja! Yeah... She's obviously a trained assassin, delving into toxicology and such! ...Or... Maybe she's just the evil handmaiden...? You know you really don't see too many of those.
Haha! Either way, very good writing Deveon. And thank you kindly for the warning.
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Post by Deveon on Nov 24, 2009 0:58:06 GMT -5
I really really don't like her! I Oh yes, there is much to hate in Clorista, she is truly the definition of a narcissistic, evil, self absorbed, cold hearted psychopath. The real challenge lies in eventually RPing her "good side" front with all the fun loving characters of LT when OOC they all know what a baddie she really is.
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Post by amariedan on Nov 24, 2009 1:08:51 GMT -5
o.0 lil devie! such a ... erm... different style than expected from you! lol good stuff, but a bit... descriptive.... not complaining mind you hehe, i am ever one for .... decriptiveness... lol. just unexpected to get such... descriptiveness... from you lol kudos!
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Post by brendur on Nov 24, 2009 10:12:26 GMT -5
Wow ;D why mince words? Get straight to buisiness. She's a real peach with a rotten core Dev, very well written, and tasteful descriptions about a very down and dirty topic.
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Post by Tallaith on Nov 24, 2009 11:52:57 GMT -5
o.0 lil devie! such a ... erm... different style than expected from you! lol good stuff, but a bit... descriptive.... not complaining mind you hehe, i am ever one for .... decriptiveness... lol. just unexpected to get such... descriptiveness... from you lol kudos! Am I the only one who wasn't terribly surprised by this? LOL It must be because Steph and I have had many, many late night drunken convos. *winks* And I'm sure you wouldn't argue with... descriptiveness, dear. Good work, Dev, and I can't wait for more!
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Post by Tallaith on Dec 14, 2009 13:06:42 GMT -5
((I just kept saying "wow" over and over. OMG. You win a gold star and "most effort put into storytelling!" /bows down before you))
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